Category Archives: Blog

What if…

What if we started of thinking of self-care as necessary, instead of optional? What if we did it without thinking like having a shower, eating or brushing our teeth? What if we started thinking of self-care as health care?

Today, I pulled a full-stop on my life. I hit the pause button. I could feel myself slipping. After a full night’s sleep I was waking up exhausted and was feeling horrible – achy and mentally disconnected. I booked a day off of work to work on me.

I only put three things on my agenda: a breakfast date with my son, a nap and a walk. As I sit down to write this blog, I can tell you that I checked all three items off my self-care list and I am feeling a bit better. I also realized I have been going 100 miles an hour hoping to distract myself from my grief and my mental and physical health can’t do that anymore.

I put my computer and projects away for the day, I ignored all the should-do’s and I focused on simply BEING today. I have started ignoring my self-care in the name of deadlines and society’s expectations. I vowed after we lost Katie that I would not get caught up in the rat-race again. Yet, almost three years out, here I am doing it again.

That’s why I pulled a full-stop today. It was a day to reflect on my mental health, slow down and be more self-aware. We need to think of self-care as health-care and be self-aware every day so that we don’t hit the wall, like I did. Put the breaks on your life. Other than a few necessary tasks, the rest can usually wait. You are important, too.

Do you take time out every day to take care of yourself? What to you do for your physical care? How about your mental health? Your spiritual well being? They are all interconnected.

What if we all slowed down? What if we took time to truly connect with the special people in our lives? What if….you put yourself first for a change?

 

 

You will be ok too….

When your heart is broken in a million pieces, you can’t breathe and can barely stand, know that you will be ok. I know it seems impossible some days, especially in the beginning but with a little work, you will find your way.

I’ve always been a science girl and have always needed proof  so I can wrap my head around a concept. Three weeks after my daughter Katie died in a car accident, I saw the living proof that being ok is possible.

After much consideration and uncertainty, I went to my first mom’s group just days before Christmas. I had been invited into this group because I had lost a child. What a club to belong to I thought, but I went anyway. Looking back now, I have no idea how I was able to go to this group so early on in my journey. But I made up my mind that I was going to go, even if I only lasted a minute. Well, I went and stayed for four hours. I had found my people. These moms got me, they got my hurt, they got my words and they got my tears.

I’ll never forget being with these incredible women and realizing that they were not only coping, but for the most part they were doing ok. They  went to work, even if they had changed careers, they had families, they were standing and breathing and living. They were OK.

That moment was such a gift for me. I realized that I, too, would be OK.  I would learn to carry my grief, slowly move forward and figure out my new normal. These moms gave me hope and inspiration.

Our grief will always be the same. It never goes away. But life has a way of growing around our grief, allowing us to find peace and be OK.

Open you heart to the possibility. You will be OK too.

Sending love and light,

XO Lisa

PS: Click on this link to download 7 ways to begin healing (even if you’re not ready)

7 ways to begin healing (even if you’re not ready)

Grief from child loss is overwhelming and it affects everything. Our hearts are broken and our minds are foggy, our bodies are achy and our emotions are all over the map.

The prospect of feeling this way forever is discouraging, but there are a few things that can make a difference in how we feel.

Nothing will ever fix our grief but there are things we can do to help ourselves.

This guide will:

  • outline easy-to-implement actions so you can start feeling better
  • show you how you can carry grief in one hand and joy in the other
  • allow you to start healing today

Sending love and hugs.

Please enter your email address below so I know where to send your download.

Your Name (required)

Your Email (required)

It’s ok to be ok

While I agree  that it’s ok not to be ok, I think the opposite is true too.

It’s ok to be sad and have days filled with tears and yearning. It’s ok to take time to be with your grief and let the grief roll over you. Own those feelings and lean into them. The reality is that you will have bad days, really rotten days, horrifyingly sad days, but you will have some ok days, too. And at some point you may find yourself having GOOD days. It is possible if you let it.

It’s ok to live. It’s ok to laugh. It’s ok to answer “I’m good!” when someone asks how you are doing. It’s ok to be ok after your child dies. You don’t have to be ok with the fact that your child died, but you can be ok sometimes. I think that often we feel we can’t be ok  because  people will think we didn’t love our child enough if we’re not sad all the time. Not true.

I come back to a phrase that is so meaningful to me —

“I can hold my grief in one hand and joy in the other”.

I will have a hole in my heart forever. It will never heal or go away. But I am learning how to LIVE again WITH my grief. I can still be ok and even laugh.

I miss Katie with every ounce of my being and every second of the day, but I’m ok.

Mind-Body Connection Download

I truly believe in the mind-body-spirit connection. Being in tune with all areas of wellbeing has been instrumental in my own healing. There is no doubt that all three areas contribute to our health.

I hope you enjoy this download!  I look forward to hearing how YOU will implement  mind-body balance to your life.

Click here to download: Mind-body balance1

The Mind-Body Connection

This download explores what the mind-body connection is and different ways to find balance. When our emotions are in turmoil, our bodies ache and we generally feel unwell.

Our bodies and minds are not separate from one another. This is one of the reasons that yoga has become so popular. There are other activities that can bring our mind and spirit peace as well.

This guide will help you find a mind-body practice so that you can:

  • Become more relaxed
  • Cope with stress
  • Assist your body in its natural healing process
  • Reduce depression
  • Develop emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing

I hope that this information helps you find a modality that helps you on your road to healing.

Please enter your email address below so I know where to send your download.

Your Name (required)

Your Email (required)

Register: An Afternoon of Hope and Healing

Child loss is profound, indescribable and excruciating at times yet there is hope for a brighter tomorrow. Please know that you are not alone and that others walk this path with you. Together we are stronger. Together we can find hope and peace.

Please join Melanie Delorme and Lisa Boehm on August 26, 2018 for an afternoon of hope and healing.

Your Name (required)

Your Email (required)

To finalize registration and and hold your spot, please head over to EventBrite.

 

Tips to help boost energy

Food and Habits that Boost Energy

 

Taking care of yourself and eating well may be completely overwhelming right now. You may not even care about such things after you have lost a child. But you are here because you want to FEEL better. 

Eating well is one of the easiest ways to help us on this arduous journey. When we take care of our bodies, our minds and spirits will eventually follow.

Let this guide show you how to:

  • Feel better
  • Sleep better
  • Gain mental clarity
  • Reduce depression
  • Boost energy

I hope that this information helps you find a wee bit of strength on this road to healing.

Please enter your email address below so I know where to send your download.

Your Name (required)

Your Email (required)

Wishing you love and light, Lisa

Grateful

Gratitude may be a bitter pill to swallow some days, yet I have found it to be the most powerful.

This morning I went for a walk soon after waking up. There is something about the morning air, the promise of a new day and the sunshine that makes my soul feel good. Some people say that walking alone in peaceful surroundings can be called moving meditation.  My mind drifts and I allow myself to go where my mind wants.

Over the course of the day, I try to find three things to be grateful for. And even on my darkest days I have been able to find three things every day. Sometimes it may just be clean sheets, a roof over my head and food in the fridge…but I find them.

Today this was an easy task. Mother nature has a way of showing us her true splendour and it makes me smile every single time. I know some people consider gophers and rabbits pests, but I love animals and seeing them out and about doing their thing always makes me smile.

About halfway into my walk, I saw three gophers playing in the tall grass. I thought “that will be today’s first item on my gratitude list”. After that I looked up into the sky and noticed the way that the sun’s rays were shooting through the clouds as if they were shining on me. My heart was feeling content, I had found the second thing to be grateful for and I was headed home.

There is a very small wooded area on this pathway that I seldom take and something caught my eye. It was a butterfly that was following me. It would fly ahead, land in my path, then fly ahead again as I got close. It made me smile for several reasons. First – who doesn’t like butterflies? Second, we had just released 20 painted lady butterflies exactly one month ago for my daughter’s would-be 20th birthday. On a whim, I put my finger down on the dirt path and the butterfly stepped right onto my finger. I picked her up and watched her open and close her wings as if sending some kind of code.

I was able to take a picture and later noticed that one of it’s wings was slightly smaller and misshapen. It made me smile when I saw the slight imperfection because Katie had one ear that  had the slightest imperfection too.

This interaction with the butterfly made me grateful for the beauty in life and the beauty in our memories.

Life isn’t fair and we all have our share of hurts, injustices and challenges but if we try to find just a little bit of good in this world, we will.

Choose your Why, Find your Path

Being lost can be overwhelming. It can make you give up, fall to your knees and stop moving at all. It will happen to all of us from time to time.

Let’s say you have lost direction on your journey to better health. You WANT to lose weight but you’re not. You feel like you are just going through the motions but not getting anywhere.  You may have lots of distraction in your life, lot’s of things that are needing your attention forcing the health goals to a lower rank on your list. Here’s the thing.  The secret is know your WHY, the very reason you WANT to lose weight because identifying WHY you want to do something  will help you find the direction to move in.

In the fitness/health journey I mentioned above, the WHY might be to feel better or to lower your blood pressure. When you make every decision focused on feeling better or lowering your blood pressure, your path becomes pretty clear. Your why is what drives you. It is at the forefront of your thoughts and the reason you keep going. Nothing will stand in your way. Some might call that obsession, but I call it drive.

Let me use a different example. It’s been the biggest soul-searching quest of my life thus far, but once I identified it my life became a lot more clear. When we lost our daughter, Katie, in a car accident  just over 2 years ago, I didn’t know HOW we were going to continue on until I looked at my son. As soon as our eyes met, I knew my WHY. I would survive for him; because I love him as much as I love his sister and he deserves a mom who is plugged in and not lost in her pain.

Since that moment, I have made decisions to pick myself up on the darkest of days, find the help I needed, talk to my counsellor, journal my thoughts and feelings, paint, run and lift to be strong enough to fight the pain, help other people through the lowest points in their lives and otherwise be a good role model for our son, Ryan. Believe me when I say that I could give up the fight. It would be so easy to stop living, literally and figuratively. Enjoying too much wine too often could become a real coping mechanism. Instead, I choose to live for my son as much as I choose to live for my angel’s memory. I live, I laugh when I can and I continue on my path because I have found my why.